Hypergamy is not CRUEL!

"I encourage all women to practice hypergamy. Date and marry up always. A life of ease must not be under-appreciated. Hypergamy is as old as civilization itself and the only men who find it problematic are those with nothing to offer a woman." - Anonymous

Heyy beauties it’s been a while since I posted a recent blog post!! I been trying my best to finish up my last semester of graduate school to get this master’s social work degree & I’m proud to announce the time has finally come for me to graduate next week! Now, what’s the next step? Studying for this licensure exam that I plan on taking over the summer. Wish me luck! #FutureLMSW

I am so proud of where I’m headed in life! I have matured in all aspects throughout these last three years for the best. I’m more of a critical thinker, wiser, and diligent in my behaviors. Lately, I’ve been more open to new and different experiences from others & this has an impact on my overall judgment (my values, morals, beliefs).

Therefore, contrary to popular belief I believe there’s nothing wrong with seeking hypergamy in your relationship(s). Now I know some of you may be thinking what is hypergamy?

Definition below:

Basically, the definition of hypergamy to sum it up in simpler terms is, wanting to be romantically involved with someone who has money or a high-level status. There’s NOTHING wrong with that! Some people, (both men and women) prefer to be in a relationship with someone who has notoriety. Looking at it from a cultural and racial perspective most white, asian, indian people (especially the women) are taught to seek the upper echelon individual in their relationship for prestige and generational wealth. I don’t think that mentality is taught a lot to African Americans during their childhood unfortunately. Black people, especially black women are taught to settle for whatever type of man who will come into their lives and to build that man up without the same energy being reciprocated from their significant other since he’s already broken from within. However, I do notice that when black women want to date the men who have a higher status, rather it be celebrities, athletes, social media influencers, etc. they’re always seen as hoes or gold diggers. Any name in the book but a child of god. It’s a double standard!

A lot of these broken relationships in the black community are initiated from “Trauma Bonding”. Being raised in a toxic environment from childhood, that may consist of poverty, abuse, neglect from the parents will turn into low self-esteem. Because of low self-esteem issues, that baggage is brought into these toxic cycles of tumultuous relationships, which is a form of Trauma Bonding. (I don’t wanna ramble on about trauma bonding though, I’ll save this topic for another blog post at a later date) Most self-sufficient people don’t desire be in a relationship with someone who has psychological issues. Codependency will lead to complacency. A relationship is a PARTNERSHIP! Therefore, nothing should be one-sided, each person in the relationship should work as a team to seek what is needed to build a healthy bond.

However, I think a lot of people may get the hypergamy term twisted with financial codependency, that can lead to being an opportunist. No person should just specifically want to be with someone just for the financial/materialistic benefit without building a sense of genuine intimacy. Who wants to feel like they’re being used and taken advantage of? Hypergamy should involve LOVE and AFFECTION, not just SELFISHNESS. If you prefer not to date someone who does not have their life all the way together or they’re too basic for your needs, then that’s perfectly fine. If you prefer to accept being with someone who does not have their life all together & are trying to make progress, then that’s okay too. IT’S ALL ABOUT HAPPINESS & PROGRESSION! You have to love yourself as woman, to know what you do and don’t want in your relationship! That starts with having realistic standards and creating boundaries. As a matter in fact, write out a list of what you do & don’t want in your current or next relationship. Sometimes, being able to vividly see the things that you’re aspiring for can help you put it into context.

Thank me later 💕…